Aggression mixed with kids sounds like a terrible mix, right? A few years ago I would’ve agreed. Through experience I’ve learned that kids test and use aggression. They test strength. They push boundaries to see what holds.
Boys often do it physically — kicking, slapping, wrestling energy. Girls often do it socially — ignoring, teasing, challenging authority. Different expression. Same underlying instinct. They’re exploring hierarchy and boundaries.
My response? With girls — direct eye contact, calm confrontation, exposing the behaviour clearly and directly. With boys —controlled physical redirection, firm body language, and strong presence.
With both — appropriate physical contact (a steady hand on the shoulder, a guiding touch on the back) that communicates: I’m here. I’m not rattled.
The current predicament
Many men have been taught to prioritise softness above all else. Empathy is important. But without firmness, it collapses.
Kids need boundaries. They need leadership. They need someone in the room who can handle their chaos without flinching. If there’s no wall, they keep pushing. And if there’s no wall at all, they meet the world unprepared.
My own experience
When I first started running kids fitness classes, I was too soft. Too accommodating. Too reactive to tears. Too easily drawn into their games.
Result? They ran the room. Doesn’t work.
My approach now
I’m firm. Clear. Calm. Harsh when necessary — but always steady. The smile only disappears when someone is at risk or when a real boundary is crossed.
I use:
- direct eye contact
- tone shifts
- time-outs
- push-ups
- immediate consequences
- physical redirection when needed
But the lesson must be understood. Discipline without comprehension is just noise.
What I see
Working with kids, you can often see when something at home is unstable. Lack of boundaries.
Inconsistent authority. Emotional distance. Running a family is hard, so I don’t judge. I just try to provide stability when they’re in my room. It takes a village.
A fun little detail
In my class, I lead. When I say no, it’s no. But I also let them challenge me.
If I forget a child’s name three times, they can make me do push-ups in front of the whole class. If they land a genuinely clever joke, I allow it. Because this isn’t about ego. It’s about showing them what confident authority looks like—more importantly, this way I show it's not about me, it's about them.
Need a hand?
The takeaway
Life contains conflict. Kids need exposure to controlled intensity in a safe environment.
Be firm.
Be steady.
Be unshaken.
They don’t need endless softness. They need strength they can trust.
Internal Links
- Kids Fitness – Functional Fitness Eltham
Our kids fitness classes in Research VIC (Eltham area). - Teens Fitness – Functional Fitness Eltham
Training for teens: strength, confidence, and structure. - Personal Training – Functional Fitness Eltham
1-on-1 coaching for parents, adults, and older teens. - Group Classes – Functional Fitness Eltham
See all group programs in one place. - NDIS Fitness – Functional Fitness Eltham
NDIS-supported training options and info.
External Links
- Better Health Channel (VIC) – Discipline and children
Practical guidance on boundaries and behaviour. - Royal Children’s Hospital – Challenging behaviour (school-aged children)
Causes of challenging behaviour and practical steps. - Triple P – Aggressive behaviour in children: parenting tips
Strategies for responding to aggression and escalation. - CDC – Essentials for Parenting
Evidence-based tools for guiding behaviour. - Raising Children Network – Rough play guide
How rough-and-tumble play works, and where to draw the line.
